As I think about all the books I’ve read, one book immediately comes to mind when I think of moms. In the Rush of Wings series by Kristen Heitzmann, there is a secondary character who is the matriarch of her family. She’s everything a mother should be though certainly not perfect. She raises her children to love God, she prays for them, and she is protective of them. Celia teaches her children to work hard, value life, and love others. She is a shining example of what a Christian mother should be.
But there are other women that stand out as mothers without having given birth. In A Name Unknown by Roseanna M. White, Rosemary has no children. Being an orphan herself, she’s not even had an example of what a mother should be since she was a small child. Yet when as an adult she finds herself in a makeshift family of orphans, Rosemary becomes like a mother to the younger ones. She cares for them and tries to teach them how to survive on the streets. Though her lessons are often how to get by with the illegal without getting caught, she is attempting to protect the children in the only way she knows how. And she does care for them. She would like to see the children have chances she never did. Everything she does is for the good of the family and the provision of food and shelter for the young ones in her care. Though they consider each other siblings, she acts as a loving mother to children who are of absolutely no relation to her.
It’s a better deal than Tess Spencer got in Guilt By Association by Heather Day Gilbert. Her mother was a drug dealer who ended up in prison. The life Tess remembers with her mother was one of lack and neglect. It’s left her with emotional scars. But even though her relationship with her mother is in desperate need of forgiveness and reconciliation, Tess isn’t without a woman in her life to help show her how to be the mother God intends her to be. Throughout the story, we’re shown that her mother-in-law has become the godly example her own mother never was. The relationship between them is full of encouragement, support, and love. Tess has been blessed.
And as I think about Mother’s Day tomorrow, I think knowing we’re blessed should be the main point. There are a lot of situations out there. There are women with healthy, happy children. There are those who have children but have suffered the loss of children as well. Many have had a child only to lose it later on. And there are those who have never been able to conceive though they desperately want to.
Children are a blessing. Scripture talks about it often enough. But that doesn’t mean those who haven’t yet had or may never have children are not equally blessed. God hasn’t looked at their lives and determined they are not good enough to be blessed. Children are simply one blessing from God. There are many other blessings God chooses to give. One blessing is not better than another. They are just different.
For the one who desires children they may never have and the one who has lost a child, my heart goes out to you. My own family has known the loss of one that was desperately wanted and would have been fiercely loved. Now, the baby we never got to meet is missed and still fiercely loved. And it’s that love that makes days like tomorrow hard for some. But, and I do not say this lightly, God has not overlooked you in the blessing department. Yours may not be the ones you wanted, but you are still blessed. You are still loved. I pray He heals your hurt.
Having a godly mother is another blessing in this life. Just read about Timothy’s mother and grandmother, Lois and Eunice, in scripture. The way scripture speaks of their influence in Timothy’s life shows the impact a godly mother can have. Proverbs 31 is dedicated to highlighting the attributes of a godly woman, and caring for her children is included in the verses. If your mother was a godly example to you growing up, you are blessed. Thank her for that.
But if you didn’t, God has not forgotten you either. There are many in the world today that have known pain, neglect, disappointment, and abandonment at the hands of their biological mothers. Their mothers never did anything to care for them much less show them the love of God. But that doesn’t mean God has declared them unworthy of blessing. Their blessings are just different.
Maybe God gave them a neighbor, a friend’s parent, or an older sibling to mother them. Maybe it was a teacher who took special interest in them. Often, grandmothers step in where mothers fail and teach the children right from wrong. If you’ve had any of these people in your life, they are the mother of your heart and you are the child of their heart. That love can be as fierce and protective and giving and encouraging as the love for a child born of blood. I know. I have a child of my heart in addition to children by blood. She is my daughter, and no amount of missing DNA will ever change that. These women are a blessing in your life. Take the time to thank them for that.
But maybe you haven’t even had that. If you haven’t, I am sorry. I don’t have a good explanation for why it happened like that for you other than the fact that we live in a messed up, sinful world. But know this; you are still blessed by God. He has not called you unworthy. You are loved, though you may not have felt it from a mother or mother figure. I pray that God will heal your hurt and teach you how to be a godly person. I pray that if He hasn’t yet, He will send someone into your life to show you His love. And I pray that you will allow Him to use even this disappointment and hurt from your life to grow you into the type of person who can go out and be His blessing for someone else.
By the Book: Who and what are the blessings God has given you? As you celebrate tomorrow, take time to pray for those in your life who may struggle with feeling less than blessed. Ask God to show you how you can be the blessing for others.