Stories of faith, life, and love

Tag: life changes

There Goes My Groove

Scene from Emperor's New Groove. I'm sorry but you've thrown off the emperor's groove.

I know I usually start with a quote from a children’s book or about writing or reading, but this one is from a children’s movie. That counts, right? Besides, this quote sums up my current life situation. Let me explain.

For the last several years my husband has worked two jobs, not including pastoring and teaching martial arts. This has been difficult on the family in many ways, but we’ve made it work. God recently opened up the opportunity for a new job which allowed him to quit his part-time position. Yay!

I’m thankful for this change. I’ve been praying for this change. I know it will open him up for more time with ministry and family. It will reduce his stress levels. It will allow him to do things around the house that have been neglected for far too long.

It’s been a while since he was home regularly at night, and a lot has changed. We have only one child still living at home. He is the one child we’ve never had to do extra running for, no practices and no volunteer hours. We joke that all you have to do is occasionally throw cheese crackers into his room to keep him happy. The stress of the previous years of running has dissipated as our empty nest grows closer.

Another major change is my writing. In the last few years, I’ve moved from struggling writer to, well, still struggling writer. But now I’m a struggling published writer. With two published books and a third due to release in June 2020, I’ve added a slew of new activities to my writing resume.

No longer do I simply write and research markets. I have to do those things, learn more of the craft of writing, grow my presence in front of my intended audience, learn marketing information and techniques I never cared about before, and take care of the business side of writing. It’s a tall order, especially when I just quit my full-time job as a receptionist to help provide at-home care for my grandmother with dementia.

I had gotten into a groove. I knew when I needed to write on my manuscript. I understood when that had to be put aside to finish the day’s blog post. Research, classes, and business development all had their places. I came home from my day job tired, but most nights, I could focus and get done what needed doing. Then came the change.

With my husband home, everything is different. He asks what’s for supper. He never did that before because he got home late enough that he didn’t eat. If I suggest leftovers, he asks me if it’s because I “have to write or just because”. Does it matter? But now supper is on my to-do list.

He’s home before I am in the evenings. I feel like I should be spending time with him. But if I do, I won’t get my writing or anything else writing related done. It’s a tricky situation without a clear answer. He’s not against me writing. He’s my biggest supporter. But I struggle with drawing that line now that he’s home.

Add to this the mental and emotional strain of caring for someone with dementia, and I find myself without motivation at the end of the day. Making dinner, spending time with the husband, and needing a mental break form a perfect cocktail of reasons to choose the living room sofa instead of the office chair each night.

I’ll be honest. I don’t know the answer to my current situation. Time? It’ll probably help. Long talks about what is expected with my husband? That would probably help too, though I know it’s not high on his list of things to do! Prayer? Always a great place to start. And so I ask you to pray with me. Pray God shows me how to handle this new stage in my writing life. Pray He helps me find my groove again so I can get back to doing this thing He’s put in my heart to do.

Changing Winds and a Chance to Win

mary“‘I’ll stay till the wind changes,’ she said.” Mary Poppins by P.L. Travers

The winds have changed directions unexpectedly and drastically in the few weeks since summer began.

In my writing life, the changes have been wonderful. God blessed me with the opportunity to grow as a writer through attendance at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference and the KenTen Writers Retreat. Gorgeous, peaceful scenery surrounded me at both. And in addition to everything I learned, I got to connect with other writers of faith. It is an incredible encouragement to spend time with people who love the same things you do, minister to others the same way you do, and understand the joys and struggles of that ministry because they’ve been through it like you have.

The winds changed for my family while I was at my second conference. Both my mother and I were away from home during this time. This left my grandmother’s caregiver and my aunt by choice to care for my elderly grandmother in our absence.

The diseases of dementia and Alzheimer’s do not play nice. The most loving, sweet, and considerate people can become irritable, impatient, and rude. Dealing with outbursts and hatefulness day after day is taxing. It doesn’t matter that it’s uncontrollable and far from personal. It takes its toll. I got the call on Wednesday that Friday would be the caregiver’s last day with Granny. My mother would not arrive home from her mission trip until Sunday evening.

With the exception of the two and a half days I attended the conference, I’d already been taking the evening, night, and early morning shifts with Granny while my mother was out of town. The caregiver’s departure didn’t change that. But those winds of change blew through hard and fast when my mother asked me to consider taking the caregiver position. My mom knew she could not give 24/7 care to Granny. She understood that Granny related better to family than anyone else. And she wasn’t ready to consider a nursing home for the woman who has given so much of herself to her family through the years, especially when she would be aware of her surroundings.

My husband and I took as much time as we could to pray and discuss our options. That Friday, I turned in my notice at work. I would finish out the next week, before becoming Granny’s caregiver. Yesterday I said good-bye to the people I’ve worked with for almost two years. It’s bittersweet. And before you ask, no, I do not feel prepared for what’s ahead.

In fact, one thing I’ve already learned in taking care of Granny is that the winds change constantly. What brings peace one day may induce frustration on the next. And the days can go from sunny and bright to dark and stormy in seconds. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. But she is my grandmother, and she needs me. I will continually seek God’s wisdom, pray for grace and mercy, and love her as best I can.

These changing winds are why you have a quote today in place of “What I’m Reading”. With everything happening at once, I’ve not been reading this week. I’m going to look through my TBR pile tonight and hope something jumps out at me. It’s my plan to have everything in my blogging world back to normal this week.

Before I go for today, I promised in the title a chance to win something. The something is a copy of my second book, Grasping Hope. I was interviewed by Hallee Bridgeman this week. There were some unique questions included that I had a lot of fun answering. And in the interview is the contest link. I hope you’ll take the time to stop by. You can find it here:  http://www.halleebridgeman.com/interview-with-heather-greer/

See you Monday!

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