Waiting: Wednesday in the Word

“I hate waiting.” When Inigo Montoya utters those words at the top of the Cliffs of Insanity in The Princess Bride, I feel them.

Society doesn’t reward waiting. We graduate from college and expect a great, high-paying job. No entry level positions or working our way up. Microwaves cook food in a fraction of the time, yet we still tap our feet in front of it while it warms our lunch. Buy now, pay later is the siren call of credit card companies. Not only do they promise we don’t have to wait, they reward us with points as they take advantage of our impatience.

Waiting is not in style. It’s no wonder we’re anxious people. Like everything else in our lives, we’ve trained ourselves to expect answers now. We get everything immediately. When we’re asked to wait, and especially when waiting for an unknown, it creates a sense of unease. As answers fail to materialize, our anxiety goes up a notch, or two, or three.

But quick doesn’t mean good. That quick chicken sandwich from the drive through doesn’t compare to a freshly made chicken sandwich. Immediately having the new computer or wardrobe or whatever else you buy on credit seems great. But too often, we fail to count the cost and end up over our heads in debt. No wonder we don’t want that entry level job and pay!

While it goes against our nature and societal norms to wait, that isn’t God’s way. Yes, He can give us things immediately. Sometimes He does. But only when now also means best.

Early on, I knew I wanted to write. As a young adult, I worked jobs having nothing to do with my writing dream because I had bills. I took care of my family. And, as I could, I stole little bits of time to write. Even when I decided it was time to get serious and follow the path I knew God had for me, I had to squeeze in writing time between my 9-5 and my family.

If this was God’s plan for me, why couldn’t I simply pursue it? I knew what I was called to do, and I was chomping at the bit to fully embrace it. Circumstances prevented it, and I didn’t understand why. I was ready.

Only I wasn’t. I didn’t see it, but God knew it all along. Every time I questioned, He confirmed my path enough to keep me moving forward. But each time He also tightened the reins to keep me from running ahead.

I worked on my craft, started a few projects, sold a few devotions, and attended conferences. During these years, I was coming back from personal devastation. I didn’t see it, but God was allowing me to heal before moving me forward. Why? Because that’s the story He wanted me to write.

My first book, Faith’s Journey, is fiction. Katie’s problems are not my own, but her story is the story of my heart. I had to heal enough to put it into words that could entertain while also encouraging others that their pain is not the end. I had to see beauty come from my ashes before I could adequately describe the process of hope for others. In short, I had to wait until the time was right.

God knew that when I didn’t.

Even after getting serious about pursuing writing, God didn’t drop me into the life of a full-time writer. I worked a full-time job and had other ministries demanding my time. It’s taken over ten years for me to reach the point of writing full-time. And I’m not able to because my writing income has met or exceeded my regular income. It hasn’t. Our family has simply reached a place financially that, with sacrifices, allows it.

Through this time of waiting, I learned balance. Creative problem solving became a close friend of mine. I learned to push myself, and how to do it without sacrificing my family. I gained understanding of the frustrations other writers in the same position face. And in the end, I wrote and sold four books while working a full-time job, mothering my children, serving as a pastor’s wife, and directing a youth camp. I never dreamed accomplishing so much with so little would be possible.

God knew that when I didn’t.

And He used the waiting to make it happen. Yes, I got tired. When I didn’t feel I could do it anymore, He always gave me the endurance I needed to keep going. It may have come in spurts, but it never failed to come on time.

Through waiting God strengthened me as a believer and as a writer. I know His provision and faithfulness firsthand. Watching Him turn ashes into a thing of beauty is an experience I will treasure forever. The lessons I’ve learned through these times will stay with me, pushing me on when I find myself waiting yet again and allowing me to encourage others in their own waiting times.

Maybe waiting isn’t so bad after all.