Endings

Chalkboard with the end written on it

It is finished. At the beginning of August I turned in book three in Katie’s story to the publisher. I’ll have edits to complete once the editor has finished with it, but Katie’s story has reached its conclusion. There will be no more days filling in the blanks for her. She has her ending, and I hope everyone thinks it’s a worthy one for her.

When I started writing Faith’s Journey (and at the beginning that’s not even what it was called), the words poured out of my fingertips into my laptop. I was excited to sit down each day and put her story on paper. By the end of Faith’s Journey I had read my own words often enough that I was dull to it, but it didn’t dampen my enthusiasm for beginning the next chapter of her story with Grasping Hope.

The second story was harder to write, but I still found myself enthusiastic for the telling. And as I grew close to the finish line, I again found myself ready to reach the end. I was more than ready to begin the final installment of the telling of Katie’s life.

Looking back at Faith’s Journey and Grasping Hope, I now realize I didn’t know how hard writing could be at times. Relentless Love pushed me further than the other two books. I looked forward to giving readers an end to Katie’s story. Excitement to see where her story took her and the growth she would experience kept me at my computer, but the final piece to her story was the hardest to write. Why?

I think part of it stems from the anxiousness I feel to have the story completed. By the time I got to the final chapters of each book, there was an unsettled feeling in me. I’d read my own words enough times that I needed distance from them. And, like any long journey, the last few miles from home seem to take the most time to complete. You know the destination is close, you want nothing more than to reach the destination, and the miles you can cover so swiftly in your mind do not go so quickly in reality. I’m finding the same anxiousness as I travel the last few chapters to each book I write. The end is close enough I can almost touch it, but not quite.

This feeling played into the writing of Relentless Love, but it was more complicated than that. There was added pressure going into the last book of the series. Knowing it was the conclusion to Katie’s story, I wanted it to be the finale everyone needed. We met so many people along the journey, and I didn’t want to leave readers in limbo about how their lives ended up. I wanted Katie’s story to be true to life and show her growth in a way we could relate to it. And after all she went through, I knew Katie’s story should end on a positive note. All this played through my mind as I wrote Relentless Love making it the most difficult of the three to write.

Endings can be hard whether we’re talking about writing or life. Fear can threaten to spiral out of control when we unexpectedly lose a job or face a deadly diagnosis. Anything that makes us turn from our current direction without warning or want on our part can settle like weight on our shoulders. It can affect our interactions with others, our self-esteem, and our outlook.

Even when it’s something we desire, stepping from the known to the unknown can be difficult. To leave a job we don’t like for a new one seems easy, but it can cause unease. If we’ve been at the job any length of time, we may not like it but we will have gained a level of understanding of how things work there. To leave this known entity, no matter how bad, and begin again in a new environment can be unnerving. Our joy at the possibility of something much better is tempered with the hesitation of moving into new territory.

While it may be natural to struggle with these issues when coming to the end of things, we don’t have to fall under the weight of the struggle. As Christians, we have scriptural promises to turn to for comfort and strength. With access to the internet, we can easily find God’s promises to us in any situation we face. Simply focusing on the character of God as seen in His word can bring peace, hope, and strength for the endings we face. Taking time with Him each day can change our perspective and help us go with grace through whatever we face.

I would issue a word of caution about relying on others to point you to your hope whether it’s an internet search, your pastor’s sermon, or even this blog. It’s easy to find a verse in scripture to back up anything we want to believe. We are responsible to keep God’s word in context. An individual scripture has to be taken in light of the whole to find its true meaning. To do this, we have to do what Timothy says and study the Word to be able to understand the Word.

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